movie and meal

Here’s the thing last night when you invited me out all you said was dinner and a movie.  I dressed simply for said event a striped polo, long jeans and fashionable boots.  I carry more than enough money for the nights meal and movie.  Meeting you out at the mall parking and spotting you in a similar get up.  I notice your fresh fade and wonder if I should have shaved.  Dabbing on a bit more oil I slide outta of my ride. We embrace, you hold me a little bit longer than usual, your hug made me hold you tighter whispering in your ear how I missed you.

We release and head inside you by the tickets and I the popcorn. We settle down in the back. Reclining in our seats you caress my thigh, we haven’t done this since you got married. I lay close to you enjoying your scent. You always smell so good like fresh wood and citrus. Closing my eyes, you rest in my arms as we watch Vin Diesel do what he does best and excite us.  You lay your head on my chest. Drifting off,  could have sworn you kissed my neck and massaged my thighs. Waking up to find you clawing for the popcorn propped between my legs.

Dozing off again, thinking of how this used to be a coded game for us. You’d set these dates and we’d go do anything to get you out of the house in those days it was different.  We were both trying to figure things out especially the limits of our friendship. You wanted to fool around and blame it on the drink while I wanted to make it official.  My hopes were dashed when you showed up with her.  That long hair, made up face and those dresses that accentuated her curves.  I got your message loud and clear, I was just the person you wanted in the dark.  I haven’t seen you since the service, I came as requested and stood where you wanted me.  I even assured you that you were making the right decision. You said “I do” as I looked on crying for what could have been.

Shaking me awake I’d missed the whole thing. You ask if I need to go home and rest or can I stay up long enough for a bite.  I playfully punch you in the chest and remind you that I can put you to bed any day of the week.  Walking out of the theater you caress my back and shoulder and admire my gains.  We walk across the parking lot the steakhouse just like the old days. Sitting down in our old booth the waitress comments on how long it’s been and that we shouldn’t be strangers.  The bartender brings our 1st round to us personally, you get a hug and a kiss on the cheek while I get a slap, kiss, lip bite and their new number written on a napkin.  Your dumbfounded looks cracks me up, do I have to remind you that I have game too.  Settling down to our meal of meats, veggies and alcohol.  You reminisce of the last time we came here 2 weeks before the ceremony.

We had just seen a commemorative show of “Love & Basketball”. You kept joking that I was going to challenge you to a game of 1 on 1.  I remember wanting to fight you in the parking lot, especially when you leaned in for a kiss after dinner. All you said was how good it is to see me and how much you’ve missed me.  Listening to you talk reminds me of everything.  I ask our waitress for the food to be wrapped up and for the bill.  You follow my lead, just like the old days. Heading outside to the summer night, wrapping your hands around me from behind you bite my lobe and ask if you can crash at my place.  She hates when you come home tipsy.  Breaking free I agree.

In the car you can’t keep your hands to yourself rubbing my thighs, kissing my palm, going as far to kiss me at a light. I would be lying if I didn’t enjoy the attention from you even if I know it’s fleeting and you’ll leave me hurt if I let you. Parking in my garage you climb into my lap kissing me with your full lips sucking my tongue.  I lose it when you beg me to fuck you so hard you forget her name. Complying we enter my home our clothes are ripped off in route to my bed where I throw you down and voraciously attack your sexual organ. Holding you down and in place no matter how much you cry and try to run away.  Only releasing you to let you taste yourself in my mouth.  shouting does she do it like me!

Grabbing a condom, flipping you onto your face I enter your eager hole and fuck the shit out of  you.  Taking out all of my pent up aggression on you.  Shouting you missed this dick! Flipping you on your back and slamming myself inside of you. I thought you’d hate this and would at least cry, instead you cheering me on telling me to fuck you like the bitch you are.  Passing out inside of you leaning on my dresser.

Now I’m here in my house listening to your wife scream about wanting to fight me.  How she never trusted our friendship and that she know you got fucked to sleep.  She says you called her last night and the phone on.  I hear you lying and denying.  What you don’t know is I called her from your phone, I want her to hear you scream my name as I beat it out the frame.  Throwing on some short and tank top, reminding you both that you don’t pay a single bill and need to leave before I call the police.  She’s cursing me out your dragging her out. Screaming how dare you do this to me? to you. Laughing so much for dinner and a movie as locking the door behind you two.

Your last glance back at me you mouthing you’ll see me soon.

Yeah I know you miss me & you don’t care about her.  Next time I’ll send her one of our videos. Lets see if she’ll keep you then.



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See you forgot who the fuck I AM. I’m not your friend or lover I’m the plague that life has unleashed upon you.  everything you did has led you here  from your 1st step as a baby to your last step to me. Don’t confuse me with the kind of person who will take it easy on you because you don’t fucking know me.

I’m still that same nigga who will throw a brick and show you my hands.  I’m older now, i’ll put the hammer down but will sure throw the law on you.  I finally got bail and lawyer money.  Try me I’m in a good place these days with the real bills and real chills

I’m with the shits & you can get it how you want it.  Call me burger king cause you can have it your way.  via these hands or these barbs. my mind is sharper than a pencil & I’m always writing

shout out to all of the idiots that try my resolve what they did was make me go harder. I appreciate all of the Opposition I think your sent by the Lord on high to make me better.




here is the thing you fools are stressing me out and these snaps, just might be my psyche or the loose grasp I’m maintaining on reality.  Here it goes, the more I snap the lower the chances of you having good day and I like having good days.

Until next time sports fans,


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laying in bed intertwined in us

you’re touching your sacred place, commenting on how good it feel

bringing your fingers to my lip for a sampling

I begin licking and sucking each digit

kissing your palm gently.

your taste mixing in my mouth

your coos sliding into moans

holding your hips

massaging your fingers with my tongue

enjoying your taste

– Dreads

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Hold up, did this just happen

Once upon a time a last second kiss could have had me twisted out and bent out of shape and then I started doing it myself.  You know that kiss you use to keep them wanting more. Aggressive and primal a touch of fun, it takes the form of a forehead kiss, a long make out at the edge of the door or a chin grabber.

Last night I was hit with a long make out at the edge of the door.  It was a rush of emotions followed by a smooth letdown of endorphins.  The buildup was high before the breathing exercises.  The resounding thought was “Hold up, did this just happen? I’ve been doing this for years kiddo”

A revelation has also occurred did the people I’ve done this to get a rush of nothingness…Was it out of the blue passion followed by darkness.  This whole wave has been just as hot and cold.  It is a chance to examine my style of play and to grow into a more mature participant.  What needs to stay and what needs to go.

I find our exchange to be funny and infuriating. That is a recipe for a supernova. It will be intense and it will be fun but it may not last forever.   Time will tell as we progress.

Hold up, did this just happen?

*Side note have you ever breathed through arousal. 10 deep breaths later you can take the edge off


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Phone sex doesn’t get me off no more than masturbation

The best orgasms achieved come from lovers. Who’ve spent themselves on you.

Much more satisfaction than a simple self induced orgasm. You know your spots therefore you know how tedious it is. Another brings variations of pleasure.

Lovers transcend time & space but a good orgasm, a good orgasm can reshape your mood.

Orgasms build mentally. Starting in a glance or few words. A good orgasm is crafted like spun glass unique each time. Blowing my mind away with your words. Let’s talk about anything other than sex. Show your passion!

Lets get intimate with our clothes on. Can words be the new kisses. Can a slick turn of phrase be a groan. Moans can stay moans. Can we orgasm via an exchange of ideas with zeal

Lets remove our hangups  and make love. I’d love to show you where reality and imagination intersect. Let us talk with our words like we used too.


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What’s 1st

What will kill me 1st

My pride so deeply tied to my sense of self. Will it be the thing that does me.

My laziness, a desire to not do or be. Will it be my final lack of care that causes my heart to seize unable to release.

Will stress could do it, it’s already working. The visits to the hospital, the weak muscles an ligaments, the graying edges.

My emotional stupidity, will it cost me my all. Will it finally break me.

Serving in many different roles & all that comes with that.

I’m scared of what I’ll become & what I’ll never do.

Will I be a good father?

Am I a good lover?

Am I giving too much to freely?

What’s the prices I’m not seeing, ignoring or seeking

Where will I die? In bed or at my desk?

Who will mourn me, will I be mourned?

My first moment stories are shared in my family with joy and laughter

My first moment stories are to me full of fear

Violence was bred into me 1st lessons are learning how to hit and accept hits

what’s the 1st thing I’ll teach


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There is always a moment when you’re sleeping in someone else’s bed & think to yourself

“I should have bought headphones”

It’s my 2nd or 3rd time getting out of bed for water and a bathroom break and keep coming back to these mini naps with a growing diminished return.

“I should have bought headphones”

Watching you sleep is becoming painful. I want to sleep too.

“I should have bought headphones”

These pushups are not helping me wait for you to wake. Counting these tiles agonizing thought.

“I should have bought headphones”

You wake & slowly rise finding me imitating you: stretching like I’ve slept for hours. Asking if I’m hungry or if I need anything. Rising up & pecking your cheek. Grabbing my boots.

You give me a hug & a set of…



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