Dear suicide,
It has been a few years, since we last spoke. As you know I’m in a relationship now. I’m doing pretty good right? Wrong you know how I lie, I say I’m fine no matter how bad I feel. You know how serious I take life and how permanent death is. You’re my oldest friend, remember those early mornings waking for school thinking about whether today would be the day to load my shotgun position the barrel and pull the trigger or will it be tomorrow. You were there in the wings for each attempt and holding my knife each time I failed, you have always been there except when I succeed. Suicide you have never been my friend. You popped up after graduation, sitting on my shoulder until you’re a knee in my chest.
You look more appealing as time goes by. Especially the days that are rough, when my emotions cloud my judgement. You speak loudly when others want to silence me. Today you grabbed me and demanded “why not today?” But I refuse no matter how temping you look no matter the relief you will give, I will not give into you.
Signed Dreads,
P.s. dear suicide fuck you.
-dreads
1poemday 