letter from my silent voice

my hands hurt

the second joints mostly on my left hand

I’m irritable in a whole new way

more restless than usual.

What’s this new driving force in my system.

why now am I feeling this utter contempt for my work.

I hate this shit.  My job is so intertwined with my family

my life is a drain of energy from multiple faucets

my energy is spent like coins at a vending machine.

this life I’m leading

takes more from me than it gives back.  That’s life in general this I am aware of, but damn if it does seem as if its only getting worse.

few things bring joy to me right now the list is getting shorter.

If I said my life is pointless that’d be to big of a point to raise.

I’m glad to be alive in some capacity

Even if I dread 80% of my day.

I’m thankful for a gig to pay my bills

friends who get me

alcohol to drink

and money to pay

even if it feels lifeless & pointless to be here.

-dreads

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