The little heart that could

Thinking about you is something I rarely do. It’s been close to 10 years & I’m still here reviewin your case. It hits me like bricks that it ended with your hits. 

You said you liked me

Respected me 

Celebrated me. 

Reality has struck again 

I was speaking to you. 

You never spoke back. 

You held me contempt.

 I worked to be good enough for you, forgetting my crown letting you put me down. 

I was good to you,  at least I think so. People around us said so. Almost bought you a prom dress it was that serious. I got your measurements. 

Each time you won I showed you love from your 4.6 gpa to your championships, SAT scores, college acceptance. 

You were a light to me. looking back you tried snuffing me out. Your words I took to be a challenge.
Your insults a rallying cry to show you different. I should have believed what you showed me. 

Your words predated you hands. 

Your hands that once held me, forcedo me to act. You struck me. 

I never saw it coming I’m at least 8 inches tall, a lot heavier, much stronger than you understood. 

Grabbing you & holding still, breaking up, losing my prom date beginning a downward spiral that would last 2 more years.  

Your hands shocked me. 

Me who was getting to the place to say “I love you”. 

You who would have been my first love. Became my first violent romantic relationship.

This morning it hit me.

You took what you learned at home & taught me.

Close to 10 years later I’m still stiching these wounds. 

You my 1st fist abused my love

You my 1st negative competitior beat down my joy

You my 1st of many things that mattered then abused me. 

Mentally, verbally & you tried physically. 

To my last girlfriend, my never lover you abused me. 

-dreads 

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